Sex and the Gods of Internet Marketing

Whenever I instance my . to a . seems to prosper the equivalent there an redoubtable lot of porn on the net?”The problem floats toward me like a smoke orb and formsa h

Sex and the Gods of Internet Marketing

Whenever I quote my mission to a non-wired person,it seems to fashion the corresponding response:”Isn’t there an terrible stack of porn on the net?”The matter floats toward me like a smoke sphere and formsa gloriole around my face, framing me as a pornographer,nymphomaniac, and all-round corrupter of innocence.I expect that from my mother, but it’s not the federal imageI strive to cultivate I never keep a gain sensation ready”Hmmm,” I nod coquettishly, “I’ll obtain to look into that.”The subtext of my vapid reply could be “Yes, the internetis a modern-day Gomorrah and I’m in it up to my quiveringloins,” or, “I really haven’t heard that, but I’m sopathetically hard-up that I’m gonna lope rectify home andlook”Neither is what I mean to convey, but the detail is probablyjust as perverse.I’ve never really looked into sex on the netI always plan to, but I never do I surmise I’ve always beenvery nervous about what I might find Who knows? Maybe Imyself would become corrupted – lured into the nether regionsof psycho-sexual depravity and cyber-sensual abandon.never, perhaps, to return(I vibration at the thought. Several times)Well, that superiority of monachal naivet is fine when you’rejust peddling software and minding your obtain business, butnow that I’m prancing around like an e-marketing guru, Ino longer keep the luxury of ignoring so vast and infamousa allocation of our venueTHE DARING SEXPLORATIONS OF LINDA COX!I retain shifted into my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman IntrepidFemale Explorer persona and I am now going to begin myConradian trek into the internet’s black interiorWish me luck Here goes.Okay, I’m back Thanks for waiting. I’m prepared to reportnowYep, it seems that there IS some sexual topic on theinternet (Drink, please.) Rather a lot, in fact. (Makeit a double) Funny I never noticed before. (Is it warmin here?) Actually, it’s amazing there’s room for anythingelse (WHERE’S THAT FREAKIN’ DRINK!?)Here’s what I learned1. I can never don my Lara Croft/Wonder Woman alter-egoagain now that I’ve seen them locked together inaltsex.binarieslesbianactionheroes in a bout ofno-holes-barred lovemaking.2. Acts I consider sexually severe and taboo, many peopleconsider warm-up.3. I bequeath never use a civic restroom or changing room againI commit never wear a skirt in state again. I cede never lookat many salad ingredients the identical style again4. Certain professions should strictly enforce a much earliermandatory retirement age.5. Everything is a sex toy to someone EVERYthing.6. I found Howard Sprague’s tame magazine online Goober andFloyd I always suspected, but Otis, Barney, how could you?7. Bondage is a cottage industry I’m not sure what BDSM is,but it looks pretty damn uncomfortable.8. I accidentally learned how Vinnie, my pizza delivery kid,made ends meet before landing his bestow gig.9. Some things are reform left unshaven10. She-males are the damnedest object since Mike the HeadlessChickenTHE GODS OF INTERNET MARKETINGAdult website marketers are the most in-your-face,take-no-prisoners, knock-down drag-out rock ‘n lurch marketerson cave If I could market software the system they doorstep sex, I’dbe living on my posses islandIN PRAISE OF CENSORSHIPFrankly, I uncommonly much oppose adult subject on the internet Ithink it should be legislated out of existence Here’s why:Sex is the inflame in the abdomen of civilization. If we allow itto become so commonplace that everyone gives up the hot andfrenzied quest of it, then humanity cede moderate go sit on thecouch and vigil pro wrestling And then where commit we be?Sitting on the couch watching pro wrestling, that’s where!